In long-term relationships, often, couples hit a rough patch. It happens after the honeymoon phase of the relationship after that couples often start to argue and fight over petty things.
A rough patch can happen due to several factors such as holding grudges, trust issues, infidelity, etc. Fights can cause serious complications in relationships. Nonetheless, there are certain things you can do to ensure that you and your partner overcome this difficult phase with ease.
Can Couples Overcome A Rough Patch?
Often, people give up when they encounter something difficult, the same thing goes with relationships. However, if you and your partner are completely dedicated, you can surely get over a rough patch.
At this phase, you should put in effort to fix things with your partner. Deal with all challenges calmly and communicate. In this blog, we will discuss how you can overcome rough patches and avoid them.
Overcoming The Rough Patch
1. Tackle The Problem Together
The first and most important thing is to tackle problems with your partner as a team. Don’t let the problem go out of hand, as it will cause further complications.
Besides, always discuss the problem with your partner calmly and discuss ways you can resolve it. In a relationship, you and your partner are a team, hence, you must work in tandem to ensure there is no space left for problems to arise.
2. Communicate
You must have often heard “Communication is the key to a successful relationship.” When you openly communicate with your partner, you mitigate the chances of miscommunication or misunderstandings.
Moreover, when you communicate and are honest with your partner, it builds trust, which reduces the chances of conflicts and insecurities arising.
3. Take Time To Cool Off
When a person is angry, they often say things they don’t mean. It also includes intentionally wanting to hurt your partner. However, words that come out in anger can cause serious damage to self-respect. That is why if you ever feel extremely angry and you notice that you are likely to say things you don’t mean, stop, take some time to calm down and continue the conversation once you feel good.
You can start by addressing what was the reason you felt angry or hurt, and wait for your partner to share their side of the story. This will help you understand each other’s perspective and help find the reason for the conflict and resolve it accordingly.
4. Listen
Actively listen to your partner, and understand them. Let them completely unwind their thoughts with you, and be patient.
Some people may have difficulty communicating. In such instances, give your partner space to feel comfortable. You can also encourage them to write down their feelings as it will help them address their feelings.
Additionally, be sure to be respectful even if your partner says something that may offend you, don’t get infuriated immediately, rather try to understand the reason for their feelings. You can do so by calmly listening to them.
5. Apologise
Always apologise to your partner if you are at fault. However, ensure that you mean it. Apologising doesn’t make you inferior but rather shows your seriousness towards your relationship.
Sometimes our mistakes may seem minor, but those mistakes can be hurtful to others. Hence, you must apologise for your mistakes no matter how small they may be. It shows that you respect your partner and their feelings.
6. Couples Counseling
In a situation where you and your partner are finding it difficult to manage conflicts in your relationship by yourself, it is advisable to seek help professionally. You and your partner can opt for marriage counselling or couple therapy.
Suggested read: Couples Therapy vs. Marriage Counseling
How To Avoid The Rough Patch
You must understand that one can’t completely avoid a rough patch. It is a part of the relationship that is bound to happen. However, there are some steps you can take to minimise the chances.
1. Discuss Your Feelings
Discuss your feelings with your partner regularly. For example, if your partner does or says something that bothers you, address the concern immediately. If you are in public, wait till you are alone with your partner to address the issue. If you try to ignore it, it will build resentment over time which is unhealthy for your relationship.
Hence, it is always advisable to discuss your feelings and be respectful while doing so. Don’t blame your partner or accuse them, rather tell them how their actions made you feel. For example, If your partner made a joke about you to his friends, calmly explain how you found the incident disrespectful and ask them to not repeat such an act.
2. Be Grateful
Always express gratitude to your partner. If you thank them and appreciate them for simple gestures, it will make them feel appreciated and heard. An example of this could be, your partner making you a cup of soup because you were sick. While this is a bare minimum, you should appreciate your partner for supporting you.
3. Spend Quality Time
When you don’t spend quality time with your partner, it increases the chances of insecurities, miscommunication, misunderstandings, etc. That is why, you should ensure to spend quality time with your partner. Be present with them and listen to them without any distractions.
4. Respect Each Other
No matter how messy the fight gets, you should never disrespect your partner. If there is no respect among partners, it can negatively impact each other’s mental health. Whereas, in a relationship in which both partners are respectful to each other, there is trust, comfort, and the feeling of safety which is important in a healthy relationship.
5. Set Healthy Boundaries
Boundaries help your partner understand what you and your partner are not comfortable with. You must set boundaries in relationships as it prevents your partner from trespassing on your personal space. When you set healthy boundaries and your partner abides by them, it creates a sense of safety, trust, and comfort.
Read more: Teenage Relationships: Understanding Consent and Boundaries
What Does A Rough Patch Look Like?
Every relationship is different. Likewise, only you know your relationship better than anyone else. Hence, try to understand the problem by yourself without sharing it with others. If you are still confused, here are some signs that you are having a rough patch:
- You start getting annoyed by your partner’s presence
- Withdrawal from affection or intimacy
- Trust Issues
- Constant Fights
- Resentment towards partner
These are some signs of a rough patch in a relationship. While these signs may look like it’s the end of the relationship, it doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is over. Overcoming difficult times with your partner is possible.
How To Know If The Relationship Is Facing A Rough Patch Or Is Over?
If you are constantly unhappy in the relationship and tired of putting in effort, chances are it is over. However, if you are still willing to put in the energy and effort to conserve the relationship, there is a chance of redemption. Nonetheless, the energy and effort have to be put in by both partners for it to work.
In a relationship, you and your partner are a team. Hence, if you want to overcome a rough patch you must work together to resolve the issues.
Trust and respect are the key factors to indicate whether you are in a rough patch, or the relationship is over is trust and respect. Additionally, the willingness to put in effort is also taken into consideration. If your partner does not respect you, it shows that your partner does not consider your feelings.
Similarly, trust is the foundation of relationships. Lack of trust causes miscommunication, and misunderstandings and may lead to conflict. Hence, if you and your partner no longer trust each other, it shows that the relationship may be coming to an end.