One of the most common problems couples in a long-term relationship face is losing the spark. When a relationship is new, things are exciting, they feel butterflies, they try to spend all their time with their partner, they try to make their partner feel special, plan surprises, and much more. However, when the relationship has been going on for a few years, people may stop putting in effort which causes the romance to die in a relationship.
A simple solution to this problem is to keep trying to make your partner happy and put effort into the relationship. In this blog, we will discover more ways to keep the romance alive in a long term relationship.
Why Does Romance Decline In A Long-Term Relationship & How To Maintain It?
As mentioned above, one of the most common reasons is people stop putting effort into the relationship. However, there can be many other reasons such as:
- Increased Predictability
When you have been with someone for a long time, you start to easily predict what they will talk about and you will start to see repetitive patterns in your partner’s behaviour. Repetitive patterns may cause one to feel that the relationship has run its course as you feel that nothing is new and exciting. This can cause boredom and loss of interest in the relationship.
In order to resolve this issue, you and your partner must make an effort to try new activities, spend more quality time, and communicate concerns with each other. Trying out new activities will help both of you experience something new. Moreover, when you communicate and try to understand what patterns may be repetitive, this can be worked on. This will allow you to understand, and try to bring a change to those patterns.
- Lack Of Quality Time
One of the common relationship problems is not spending quality time with your partner. For example – if you and your partner go out on a date, and your partner is constantly busy on their phone, this could hurt your feelings and cause distance to grow between you and your partner.
This problem is quite common in a long term relationship because often a partner may stop putting in the effort, and it causes an increase in conflict and dissatisfaction in a relationship.
Another cause for this could be having busy schedules. Often, when one partner has a busy schedule, it can make the other partner feel neglected. To work on this issue, you and your partner must make it a priority to spend quality time with each other without any external distractions. Moreover, in the case of a busy schedule, both partners should try to put in effort and dedicate time to each other.
For example – If your partner has long working hours, you can try to visit them once a week during their break and have lunch together.
- Unresolved Conflicts
In a long-term relationship, it is common to have conflict, disagreements, and arguments. However, if they go unresolved it can cause partners to hold resentment and cause partners to withdraw emotionally.
The only way to resolve this issue is to communicate with your partner. Often partners may have difficulty communicating due to vulnerability issues, lack of trust, etc. However, it is important to attempt to resolve these issues. Failing to do so may cause you and your partner to terminate the relationship.
Read more about How to Deal with Unresolved Conflicts
- Unmet Or Unrealistic Expectations
Having unmet or unrealistic expectations can cause one to feel disappointed. In such situations, it is important that both partners communicate, understand, and compromise.
It is important to understand that no one can read minds. Hence, if you have expectations from your partner, it is important to convey them to your partner. This will help to ensure that all expectations are met.
In the case where the expectations may be unrealistic, they should be communicated and composed. For example- One of the unrealistic expectations could be that you wish your partner would agree with you about everything. Disagreeing on things is common. However, instead of arguing on it try to find a common ground that you and your partner are satisfied with.
- Lack Of Appreciation
Often in long-term relationships, one may forget to appreciate their partner. We often expect our partners to already know that you love them and care for them. They often believe that it is already implied since you are in a relationship with them. Nevertheless, it is still good to appreciate your partner once in a while. This ensures that your partner feels appreciated and also helps in providing reassurance.
A simple solution to this is to practise gratitude daily with your partner. For example, at the end of the day, your partner can communicate one thing they appreciate about you and vice-versa. This makes you and your partner feel heard and appreciated.
- Lack Of Interest
When a relationship has just started, you may often find yourself spending a lot of time with your partner. Additionally, you also take an interest in their likes, dislikes, beliefs, etc.
Over time, you may feel like you know everything about your partner and stop taking an interest in getting to know them.
- Lack Of Independence
In some relationships, partners may have an unhealthy attachment towards each other. It causes them to spend all their time with their partner without having their personal space which can lead to resentment.
To resolve this, partners must set up healthy boundaries and work on self-growth. It allows them to grow personally and allows them to be independent. When both partners depend on each other, they tend to lose their self-identity, which may make them feel trapped or suffocated. Hence, it is important to learn to spend time apart and have your individuality.
Also read: The Timeless & Historical Love Stories To Remember & Taking A Break In A Relationship: How Does It Affect The Relationship?