Moving in with your best friend is something that you often dream of. We often wish that we could spend time together every day, watching movies together and having a lot of fun. However, it is not as easy as it sounds. There are things you must consider such as finances, budgets, rules etc.
There is a famous saying “The grass is always greener on the other side”, similarly, while moving with your friend may seem like a good idea, you should always analyse the situation and make the decision wisely.
Living with someone and meeting them frequently is quite different hence if you are planning to move with your friend, it is important to discuss these things mentioned below:
Things To Discuss Before Moving In
- Finances
When you are moving in with your friend, it is important to discuss how you are going to share expenses. While most people like to split everything 50-50, others may prefer to split their expenses based on income i.e. if someone earns more they spend more etc.
Hence, in order to avoid any dispute about finances, it is important to discuss things well in advance. Talk about how much you can contribute, will it be sustainable? and whether your move is attainable.
Moreover, it is also important to discuss what your course of action would be if any of you fails to pay expenses due to unforeseen circumstances such as losing your job, unexpected expenses etc.
- Rules
While many people think that it is not important to have rules for living together with friends, it is not true. Having rules helps to maintain boundaries and is important to provide clarity and set expectations.
Discussing and creating ground rules will allow you to have personal space and also help you avoid conflicts. Setting rules allows open communication and prevents putting unnecessary strain on the friendship. Having rules will help to keep a balance without disrupting each other’s schedules.
- Chores Allocation
Equally, delegate chores and responsibilities among each other. Doing so promotes equality, and helps to prevent any resentment. Some people prefer delegating tasks according to what they like and dislike, while others may plan to do chores on alternate days.
Discuss with your friend as to what chores you both would like to do and allocate tasks accordingly. Doing so will help to organise and maintain a balance.
- Privacy
No matter how much we love spending time with our friends, we all require personal space and privacy. Hence, it is important to communicate that you need your own privacy and personal space.
Discussing these things prior to moving in will help maintain realistic expectations and can help avoid conflicts.
- Guests
It is important to discuss where you and your friend stand on having guests over. How frequently are you both comfortable with hosting guests and how prior would you like to be informed about someone’s visit?
Even if you and your friend have a lot of mutuals, there may be days you don’t prefer hosting people and in such scenarios, it is best to discuss your concerns with your friend prior.
- Health
It is important to be aware of any medical condition your friend may have as this will help you in case of an emergency. Also, discuss what your expectations are in case one of you falls ill.
For example – some people may prefer being alone when they are sick while others require care and attention.
Moreover, be mindful of things your friend or you may be allergic to and discuss the course of action in case someone has an allergic reaction. Also, share emergency contacts such as family members, relatives, guardians, etc.
- Conflict Resolution
It is common to have conflicts when you stay together for a long period of time. Hence, it is important to plan how to resolve conflicts. Discuss topics that you and your friend feel are likely to cause conflict and how you can work on it accordingly.
Additionally, it is important to talk about certain habits that you and your friend may not like about each other. While this conversation may be difficult it is important and will make staying together easy.
Remember to be considerate, calm and understanding. For example – you may not like that your friend leaves their dirty dishes in the sink, instead of taunting your friend about it, be calm and ask them politely, explain your concerns and request them to be mindful of it.
Having clear communication will help to resolve conflicts without straining the friendship.
Also read: What to do if you and your roommates aren’t getting along
- Pets
If you and your friend plan to live for a long term, it is important to discuss if they want to share the responsibilities of a pet, and in case someone moves out, who gets to keep it.
Some people may not be fond of pets, while others may be allergic. Hence, it is important that you discuss.
- Emergency Contacts
An emergency can happen at any time hence, it is important to share each other’s emergency contacts so that you or your friend can easily contact them in case of an emergency.
- Exit Strategy
Even if you plan to live with your friend for the long term, discuss the possibilities of what would happen if one of you moved out. For example – your friend gets a job offer in another city or is getting married, etc.
It is important to discuss the above-mentioned points with your friends before you consider moving in together. This will allow you to have a hassle-free experience while living with your friend.
While moving in and living with your friends may seem like a dream, it is important to understand that everything has its pros and cons. Hence, it is important to analyse both and make a decision based on it.
Also read: Navigating Friendships In The Digital Age
Benefits Of Moving In With Your Friends
- Shared Responsibility
While living with your friend, you can share household responsibilities together which helps to reduce your home’s workload.
Delegating tasks, and being responsible for respective ones will help to maintain trust and reliability.
- Shared Finances
When you live with someone you can share financial responsibilities and this reduces the stress of financial strain. Additionally, even if one of you fails to pay once, the other can cover and be reimbursed in some other way.
This allows having flexibility that you may not have while living with someone you may not know well.
- Mutual Trust & Safety
Living with your friend is much safer than living with someone you barely know or living alone because you have someone trustworthy with you.
With friends, it’s easier to resolve conflicts because you both have a mutual understanding. Additionally, you can trust one another to not steal, or misuse each other’s things because you know each other well.
- Constant Support
In case you fall sick, or you are having a bad day. Having your friend by your side brings comfort because a true friend will always support you and cheer you up. Moreover, knowing that you can rely on them brings a sense of safety.
- Companionship
Living together with friends is like having a trusted companion with you at all times. You and your friends can have shared experiences like watching movies, having meals together, decorating your house etc.
These are some of the benefits of living with friends, let’s take a look at some of the disadvantages.
Disadvantages Of Moving In With Friends
- Different Expectations
When you live together, it is not necessary that you and your friends have similar expectations. Expectations that are not met or having different expectations can cause disappointment leading to strain in the relationship.
- Disagreements
While you and your friend may have similar interests, it is possible to disagree on different things. Having these constant disagreements can lead to high conflict and may cause fights.
While having disagreements is common in friendships, if they are not handled maturely, it can cause you and your friend to fall apart as it may create resentment towards each other.
- Changing Dynamics
When you live together, you may experience different situations and factors that you may not have faced in the friendship earlier. For example – your roommate is messy but you like to keep your space clean. These factors can cause resentment and conflicts.
- Conflict Management
Managing conflicts can get tricky with friends even though you may be close. Hence, it is always better to plan what you and your friend would do in case of a conflict and how you will manage it.
Managing conflicts with friends is tricky compared to strangers as with friends you have an emotional attachment, expectations and failing to manage the conflict can cause you to lose your dear friend which is not a situation one wishes to be in.
- Lesser Privacy
When you move in with your friend, it is important to set boundaries and discuss personal space beforehand because failing to do so can cause one to feel suffocated.
In the case that a friend’s privacy and personal space are compromised, it causes discomfort, resentment, and conflict and can be a reason that a friend may lose trust.
Analysing all the benefits and disadvantages of living with friends will help you to make your living experience smoother and can help avoid unnecessary conflicts with your friends.
Conclusion
Moving in with your friends sounds like a dream come true. Even if you are comfortable with your friends and trust them blindly, it is important to discuss certain ground rules and analyse the benefits and disadvantages of living together.
Nevertheless, it is important to remember that there can be unexpected issues that may arise in such cases, you must remember to openly communicate with each other in order to resolve it.
Doing so will allow you to make an informed decision, and manage any possible conflicts with ease.
Anshuman